A tale of a Boozefighter's former adventures in jackassery in The Land of the Moaning Clam and new adventures back in the Lone Star State and Beyond to the Desert wastes of the Stan's of the world back to the Land of the Moaning Clam and who knows where else to inculde By God Texas and the whatnot! And Shit!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009





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4200 miles for the Holidays

Well, for the past two weeks I've been here there and everywhere for 4200 miles. Tejas, Lousy anna, Mississippi, Al-Abamastan, Flo-Rida, Oklahomey, Kans ass, The show me state, Iowa, The maximum security penetentary of Illinois, where as soon as I crossed the border on I-80 in Moline on my way to Chicago I got ganked by two IL. State Troopers who wanted to play 20 questions with me outside in the snow for 30 minutes at midnight. It was my Texas plates that did it and I narrowly escaped an assrape search of the truck. I had nothing to hide, I just didn't want the hassle. Then it was off thru Kentucky to Tennessee where I stayed at the farm for a few days and back to home thru Arkansas and endedup in By God Tejas where I now have a cold I cought in Tennessee.

Left a present on the door at Kung Fu in Des Moines, IA.
Linda and I stopped to have diner of 4 tacos and a beer. I then got stuck in the parking lot with the ice and my 2WD truck. Wheels spinning.
Taking my sisters kids on the Metra to downtown Chicago with my wife, Mom, Dad and Step-mom.
At the Museum of Science and Industry.

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

KISS sucks

OK as a kid I loved KISS but this is awesome.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Sweet Home Alabama redux...

Fire Son!

Puting out some fire like a pro.

Spencer's girlfriend freaking out.

This isn't me eating it hard but me fucking up none the less.

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Sweet home Alabama

Had to take a trip to Dothan, Alabama to sign in with my new company. So what do I do? First Call ALF and hang out with him and drink beer.

The next day I roll up to Birmingham and see what's up with Nick, Larry, Spencer and the rest of the Haints and my Boozefighter brother Trouble a.k.a. "The Beard Apprentice" as opposed to Dustyshmoe Joe who is the Beard Master. Beer was drank, Fireworks were shot, The shop was caught on fire, I ate it on a skateboard. Good times. I'll just let the pics tell the story.




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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Beardmaster or Joe from the Haints. You decide.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Chicago Bound for Thanksgiving.

After Work, Linda and I are jumping in the truck and rolling up to spend Thanksgiving with my Dad and Step-Mom, My Mom's driving up from Tennessee and I plan on rolling into River Grove for a Gene & Judes hotdog! I haven't had one in 15 years. I'm sure I'll be all over the city with the wife. I do need to be back home in Texas for Monday morning because I got Yanked for Jury Duty!

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Safety wire tech I did up for you chopper jockeys out there

OK, Some of you have it down and some can do by looking at the pics of other guys safety wiring but Here I am gonna show you a simple How To... to safeting your shit so it doesn't come apart into 5,476 pieces while you're doing 78.457543782905 mph.

Anyway, the best safety wire to use is .025" steel wire. you can use .032" and it's sturdier but harder to use and whatever you safety with .025 will work just fine unless you're working on propeller aircraft or Rotorheads of helicopters.

Anyway, the tools I use are a pair of Snap-on dikes and Snap-on reversable safety wire pliers. For years I used regular safety wire pliers but they only come in right hand twist, you don't always use R/H twist so it's only 1/2 of what you need. When I got out of the Army and had to buy my own tools I think the Snap-on's are the cat's meow.

OK, here you cut a piece of wire and thread it thru the eye of the bolt head and go around as such. Usually I put 1 R/H twist in it by hand to get it ready for twisting with the pliers.

Now you take your pliers and clamp on to the wire at a little beyond the hole your twisting to. The wire will shrink as you twist but only just a red headed cunt hair. Once you are used to doing it, it becomes second nature and you instinctively know where to grab. The wire pliers have a lock on them that you use to keep hold of the wires without squeezing. I can't recall how many times I've been to traders village flea market at the tool guys shop and dudes will say, "Hey, that would be a good set of wire pliers without this wierd thing on it." Well, that's the lock dumbass. So, you clap and squeeze the wires in the jaws and set the lock. Now twist.

the standard for wire is 6 to 12 turns per inch but I like anywhere from 8 to 10. That's another instinctive thing learned over time and experience.

Then you take whichever wire you decide makes the best "taught" fit and thread it thru the hole of the other bolt. Always remember to saefty where if one bolt loosens the other will tighten.
Bring the other wire around and give it a Left Hand twist or two by hand and get the pliers back on the wire. Remember, if you have a reversable set to go into Left mode.

Once you have your twist set up cut the wire with your dikes or with your safety wire pliers about anywhere from 1/2 inch to an inch. It's all a matter of taste and you can usually tell who safeties by where and how they form their pigtail.
The pigtail is just bent over wire to keep itself from unravelling. Another safety feature of safetys.

Here is my ruler to give you an idea of pitch of twist on a three bolt safety, just at 8 turns per inch. Anytime you're safeting more than two bolts the rule still applys, to safety if one bolt wants to loosen the others will tighten.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A few months ago rollin on the chop




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More photos from work

-- Posted from my iPhone

Good bye dead squirell

I had to shave my beard off. It was driving me bananas. Here's the last pic of me at work before I shaved it a few days ago.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Finally up and running back home.

It took a while but the geezer glide made it home and I'm at least on two wheels. Conflicted about bringing the chop home from korea, if I'm gonna rotate in and out of afghanistan I'll need something to ride over there on my time off visiting my brothers over there. I'll just get a new project for here to terrorize tejas with.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Time to grow the beard of death

Around the January timeframe or so I'll be on my way to ashcrapistan for high times and adventure. Might as well get a jump on growing the dead

squirrel on my face. Linda isn't digging it.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, October 26, 2009

For I am death. The destroyer of worlds.

Now they've gone and done it good. I guess that these here foot covers are officially sanctioned by the factory to wear riding your dark custom.
How gay

-- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, September 28, 2009

Half ass online with my iPhone

I know it's not jackassery but here's pictures of my new casa de wrenchbender.

Posted from my iPhone

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Choppahead Vol. 3

Saturday, September 5, 2009

We're from Oklahoma Jackass!


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Friday, September 4, 2009

For Wirecutter


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Who'd a thunk it?


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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Я твой слуга, я твой работник, техническая доброта нот

More going away pics

Nedd some more warpaint on Prospect Joe.

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